What helped me to form the habit of a regular yoga practice was the promise that it would calm my anxiety. It didn’t. Prescription drugs worked against me, nothing addictive, just a side effect that the doctors felt like was irrelevant compared to what it was supposed to cure. It isn’t irrelevant if you’re living with it. That drug turned out to be the weights I trained with, the resistence bands that strengthened me. I learned how to be present and in my body for an entire hour fighting off the rumination. I learned to focus on the breath. I learned that it is okay to feel uncomfortable, I am still safe. For trauma victims this is an important stage of creating a regular practice.

Growing up, I learned to be hyper-vigilant. This is not unusual for many people and there are times when I think everyone has this to a certain extent. Walking into class, chatting with my fellow students, closing the eyes and grounding at the start of class, and then finding that challenging poses focused my attention, discomfort is not pain, and that in savasana simply watching the thoughts go by, all helped me come to a place where I felt safe.